Halloween ridiculous costume guide '07
By Josh Farnsworth

The middle of October is upon us, which means millions will be racking their brains for costume ideas for the candy bite-size-a-thon known as Halloween.

It is a season where thousands of old white sheets are carved up for ghost outfits and Satan is all the rage. There is nothing wrong with these costumes, they have just been done so much, the costume itself has become a bit of a cliché.

Sometimes a simple modification to an outfit can make a world of difference. Case in point, one of my best friends growing up wore a ghost outfit with a sombrero and was referred to as, "The Mexican Ghost." It was simple and he did not break the bank paying for the outfit. Plus, any costume that involves an oversized hat is hilarious and worth the time and effort to obtain.

Some people, however, will be looking for costume ideas outside the norm, beyond the typical demons, princesses and slasher-movie icons. Here are some ideas for those seeking different options.

McLovin. Anyone who saw the movie, "Superbad" knows of whom I speak. This is a far cry from the typical costume from the biggest summer blockbuster. All you need is a pair of glasses and a Hawaiian license in plain sight. Bonus points for those who stay in character all night.

Gym teacher. Costume requirements would be a sweatshirt and sweatpants (Although with the recent balmy weather, one might be able to get away with gym shorts instead) and a whistle. Baseball cap and red kickball are optional, just try not to insight too many "dodgeball situations" during the evening.

Business executive. Bear with me. Put on your best power suit and tie and grab a cheap briefcase. The main part of this costume would be the name tag pinned to the suit. Something that reads, "CEO of Chocolatey goodness" or "Vice President of Smooth Operations."

A detective. All you need is a trench coat, notepad and spyglass. When going door-to-door, tell the people giving you candy that you would like to ask them a few questions as to their wherabouts on the night of the 24th. (Note: This may have an adverse affect on the amount of candy received.)

Peyton Manning. Okay, maybe the Colts uniform will only get used once here and then burnt in effigy during the playoffs. However, you get to take a football with you and also turn around and endorse every candy product that you get during Trick-or-Treating.

For you slackers out there who go dressed in your normal clothes, please consider the above ideas. However, if you need an excuse for why you are dressed in regular attire, here are some ideas.
You are dressed as…
• An Ashburnham/Westminster citizen
• An undercover police officer
• The person who helped Justin Timberlake bring sexy
back
• An extra from the movie "Ghostbusters"
• Contentment (An emotional expression of it. It is a deep
idea, so people won't ask many questions.)
• An extra from the movie "Varsity Blues"
• A business executive on "casual Friday" around the
office
• Bill Belichick's wardrobe consultant
• Weekly newspaper reporter
• Author of the book, "Dressing up for Holidays is Overrated"

• A protestor for any reputable organization
• Video game researcher
• Retired astronaut (much more affordable than an astronaut
costume)
• A rapper working on an upcoming album (tell people that
your album is going to "drop in two weeks")
• Part of a rapper's entourage (people using this idea
should also inform people that your boy's album is dropping
in two weeks)
• The next big thing to happen to Central Massachusetts